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“It’s Cancer”

Colon Cancer: A Journal After Diagnosis

October 25, 2020

Yesterday was very bad. Couldn’t get out of bed. Just incredibly sick all day. This medicine – irinotecan – causes diarrhea. I was told that it can get so bad with the loss of fluids and electrolytes that you have to call the hospital so, if it starts, you have to try to stop itContinue reading “October 25, 2020”

October 23, 2020

8:15 a.m. Very sick. Nauseous, woozy. In bed. I’ve lost several pounds in just the past few days. I knew that might happen again – that’s why I force-fed myself to gain the weight over the past few months. 1:30 p.m. Just ate some chicken broth with some noodles and a little chicken. Feel aContinue reading “October 23, 2020”

October 22, 2020

Sick. In bed. Nauseous, the sweats, dizzy. My chemo pump comes off this afternoon. Maybe things will improve. Scared they may get worse. Don’t want to go to the ER. Worth it. Love, Molly P.S. Feeling very alone. Sweet Pea just joined me, by my side. She is so loyal. This is what love is.Continue reading “October 22, 2020”

October 20, 2020

I am in the hospital right now and just got Avastin which cuts off the blood supply to that greedy tumor. Soon, I’ll be getting my new chemo drugs. So I have GOOD NEWS!!! The doctor is taking me off Folfox (which caused the allergic reaction due to the Oxaliplatin) and is putting me onContinue reading “October 20, 2020”

October 17, 2020

Today was a good day. I took a break from work. Lifted weights (I’ve been lifting since I was 26 and have always loved it. I stopped going to the gym in 2010 and bought 15 lb dumbbells, 10 lb ankle weights and a mat for stretching. The weights have kept me strong for theContinue reading “October 17, 2020”

October 14, 2020

Little Sweet Pea is curled up, snoozy. Playing Gershwin – really great – full orchestra – melodic and powerful – inspiring. Am doing work-work and have been doing it for over 12 hours now. Nowhere near done. I said this yesterday – complaining about this transient normalcy – when I should be enjoying it. It’sContinue reading “October 14, 2020”

October 13, 2020

It’s late and I’m tired and I’m scared. I’ve been working hard because I feel well. I feel like me – like I don’t have cancer – like I’m healthy – but I’m not. It kind of makes this situation worse because I’m reminded of how life would be if none of this were happening.Continue reading “October 13, 2020”

October 12, 2020

Bad news. They’re taking me off the chemo drug that was working so well because of my allergic reaction and starting me on a new one. A nurse told me about a month ago that they have a bag of tools to fight the cancer and that the bag is big. She was trying toContinue reading “October 12, 2020”

October 11, 2020

I’m back. So much has happened. I’m writing again because I have found myself looking for hope about long-term survival and thinking that maybe – if all goes well – my blog can give hope to someone in the future or at least help inform them as they go through treatment. I also have aContinue reading “October 11, 2020”

August 15, 2020

I’ve thought about discontinuing this blog. All I write about it is how sick I am/feel which is just depressing. The truth is that I am now sick around the clock. It is debilitating. I got a ten minute breather yesterday and suddenly felt like me again. I put on an old disco song –Continue reading “August 15, 2020”

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