June 3, 2020

I have butterflies in my stomach. I’m nervous about tomorrow morning’s procedure – the sigmoidoscopy. I have to give myself 2 (TWO!) enemas 2 hours prior to the procedure. I have never had an enema. I don’t want to do it. What if my colon can’t take it? Two of those things have ALOT of saline solution. What if I can’t do it? I don’t want to screw it all up or hurt myself. Dread …

I did more sorting/dumping today. I’m making progress. It was all tucked away so well even I didn’t know I had all this stuff. I hope Goodwill will pick up because I don’t want to pack, lift, move and then drive it all to Goodwill. I’ll be totally depleted but it may come to that. I’ll cross my fingers.

My mother just reminded me that it’s my deceased grandmother’s birthday tomorrow so she’ll be watching over me too. Once, as a young woman, I was traveling independently in a foreign country and became incredibly ill in a remote town. I ended up in the local hospital. It was the night of my mother’s birthday. When I returned home, my grandmother’s first words were “What happened on your mother’s birthday? I woke up in the middle of the night and sat straight up in bed and I knew something had happened.” I know it’s unbelievable but it’s a true story. So, yes, I believe she will be watching over me.

I’m taking a break from another work project which I have to get back to so I will sign off for now …

Just got a call around 5 p.m. from my primary care doctor about my request for a pain management plan which I made five days ago. I had emailed him last Saturday morning about my night of excruciating pain and throwing up, and asked him to contact me about a pain management plan. [I never even knew that there were pain management plans until I spoke with the oncologist last Friday night when I was suffering and his first question was “what’s your pain management plan?”.] I did not speak with my primary care doctor about it or anything else today. I don’t trust him to prescribe anything let alone make a plan. I’ll be getting a new primary care doctor.

This morning, it occurred to me that those two nights of impossible pain (last Thursday/Friday) occurred the day I had the MRIs and the day after. On 5/21, I had a CT scan. I asked about the use of a contrast solution and was told that it would be fine because my kidneys are healthy. The CT scan showed that my left kidney has been compromised by the tumor and urine is not flowing properly. I did not know this at the time my results were given to me because my primary care physician never told me. I learned about it when the radiology report was finally uploaded and I was able to read it myself.

On 5/28, I had 2 MRIs with contrast and a CT chest scan with contrast. I was not warned of the danger/side effects of the MRI contrast prior to the procedure. Rather, I was handed a piece of paper without explanation by a receptionist minutes before the procedure. The paper contained serious warnings about the MRI contrast (contains metal) which I did not, at the time, have an opportunity to read. I was brought in for the scans and given the contrast. On the night of 5/28, I experienced excruciating pain in my entire abdominal area (which had never before happened – it’s always in the pelvis) and violently threw up. On the night of 5/29, I experienced excruciating pain that originated in my left kidney into the abdominal area (which had also never before happened) and violently threw up multiple times. I couldn’t figure out why my left kidney was suddenly killing me.

Think someone should have talked to me about all this before my MRI with contrast? I just get signed up for tests and NO ONE IS THINKING! How about the iron pills – told to take them but not told that I shouldn’t take them because I have an upcoming sigmoidoscopy and taking iron pills is prohibited. Oh my god.

OK, back to work again now …

Almost done with my work. I’m exhausted and I’m in pain. I’m dreading tomorrow. I have to organize myself for the morning.

Just want to go to sleep now …

Tomorrow night will be nothing but Breaking Bad. Can’t wait.

Love, Molly2923

2 thoughts on “June 3, 2020

  1. Enemas aren’t a huge deal really. Just because of the angle, they aren’t always the easiest to do yourself. They are meant to clean out the area the doctor wants to see. It’s the same reason people drink a laxative solution before a colonoscopy. Without a clean gut, the doctor can’t get a good look.

    They tell you to avoid the iron pills because they can increase the risk of bleeding. I’m sorry the tests are causing issues. I hope it was just the MRI contrast you reacted to, since the standard of care is regular CT scans with IV and oral contrast. The oral contrast lights up your digestive tract and the IV contrast lights up your lungs. Though colon cancer can spread elsewhere, its two favorite spots are the liver and the lungs.

    If you’re active on Facebook, I highly recommend a network of support/information groups for colon & rectal cancer. If you’re interested, sign up at http://www.colontown.org and the welcoming committee will help you from there.

    I wish you luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Jacqueline, thank you so much for all this information. Really, I can’t thank you enough. It is so helpful. I think it was just the MRI contrast because I had no issues with the CT contrast the week before. Thank you again.


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