June 30, 2020

I bought cemetery plots today.

My mom and I woke up around 5:00 a.m. and left the house at 7:00 a.m. We drove to the town to which we’re moving next month. I was starving when we arrived so we stopped at Subway and picked me up a 6 inch tuna. Then we met with the man in charge of a cemetery that we had visited in 2012 when we were exploring options. We visited a lot of cemeteries that summer – it was a difficult, tiring and trying process – but I’m glad we did because it made the decision today very simple. We knew where we wanted to go.

The purchase of the plots was not a vote of no confidence in the upcoming cancer treatment. It was a rational response to my situation and has given me tremendous peace of mind. I now have a place to go that I chose if things don’t work out and my mother will know exactly what to do. Similarly, if my mother were to die, she now has a place to go. We both love the spot.

It was very important to me to choose the spot. It sits on a hillside overlooking a very pretty vista. I cried when I stood there, looking out, knowing this would be the place I would be for the remainder of time.

Burial in the U.S. is an expensive proposition. I wrote that check without hesitation. There are still other things to purchase through the funeral home but the plots were the most important. Everything else can wait for now.

We did a few other things to get ready for the move and returned home around 5:15 p.m. exhausted. A long but successful day.

Love, Molly2923

7 thoughts on “June 30, 2020

  1. *Hugs* Do whatever you need to do. I hope I’ll be able to keep commenting and being here, but it looks like I’ll be having surgery of my own at the end of next week. If I disappear, that’s why.


    1. *Hugs* back to you. It sounds sudden – I hope you’re OK. I know you’ve been through a lot already so I hope the surgery makes a significant, positive difference for you. I will be thinking of you. Try to get your rest as much as possible and stay strong.


  2. The problem has been building over the last few months, but the speed at which I’m going into surgery was a surprise. It shouldn’t be a huge deal. I have what’s called a fistula – and abnormal opening between two body parts. In my case, it’s between my small intestine and my skin, right near my stoma. Essentially, I have stool coming out of two holes. I’m having surgery to fix the abnormal hole. I should only be in the hospital a couple days.


      1. Okay, if all goes to plan, it shouldn’t be serious, rather just a bump in the road. Now I’ve had two major abdominal surgeries in the past so scar tissue is a potential problem. Also, whenever you have an ostomy if any kind, you’re permanently wearing the abdominal muscle around it (since you now have a hole in the muscle) so there is always the potential the area isn’t strong enough to sustain the repair. In that case, I would likely get a new stoma. But to be honest, I’m not afraid of the worst case scenario. This will be hospitalization #10 since 6/1/18. I’ve learned to take it in stride and deal with whatever comes. I can’t change it, but I can change what I do about it and how I react to it.


      2. Oh my god. Ten hospitalizations – you are very strong. I agree that you can’t change the thing itself but you can decide how you react to it. Still, it is a lot. You may have become fearless in the face of all this adversity but you will be in my thoughts and I will be hoping for the very best outcome for you.


      3. That 10 will include three surgeries, two liver drains, and one chest tube. My favorite saying – it is what it is. I also learned early on in my fight the difference between what I could change and what I couldn’t, and then did my best to give the unchangeable over to God and put my own energy into the rest.


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