I have been doing paperwork up the wazoo. Endless, endless paperwork. You don’t want to know – all move and health related.
In the meantime, I’m in pain. Sheer, unadulterated pain. I think it’s the stent in my ureter (bladder to kidney) given the location of the pain and the fact that I spotted blood today. I need to get it checked out but I don’t want to go back to the doctor who put it in. All I have is Tylenol for the pain and it doesn’t help at all – that would make sense to me if the stent is causing the problem. If it is the stent, shouldn’t a doctor have warned me about the pain so I would know it’s normal and not to worry – or that I shouldn’t feel pain and, if I do, to call? Lousy, lousy care.
If the kidney/back pain went away, I would be doing OK. Not great, but OK. I don’t know if or when my colon will be emptied. I was told to take the prescribed medication “as needed.” What does that mean? Can I stop now? They don’t know and I don’t know but apparently it’s my call. Are there any doctors left?
I want to feel normal again. I am excited about the move and all the possibilities it offers and moving forward on some personal and professional projects. I had wanted to plant a bumblebee garden but we are in a shady, glen-like spot. Maybe I can have just one pot full of flowers that bumblebees love when they come out in the early spring. I did some research and I remember that there are shade loving flowers rich in nectar that come up after the last snowfall – perfect for hungry bumblebees!
I’m also looking forward to the fall and going to the farm stands selling apple pies – and making my gingerbread (sticky and yummy).
I can see ahead and want to move ahead – but first the pain has got to stop. It is just too much. I need a doctor to call, not a “team.” I need someone who knows me and will help me. I am determined to find that person.