July 4, 2020

Another rough day. I didn’t write yesterday because who wants to hear about bowel, bowel, bowel but the reality is that my life is now all about and only about the bowel. I am sick, sick, sick. All day long, I wait for my colostomy bag to fill up. When it fills up (typically within minutes), I am in severe pain/cramping. Then the pain/cramping subsides. Then I return to nausea and aches … it’s just a mess. If I didn’t have the bowel problem I would have already started my cancer treatment. I hardly sleep and am completely worn out. This has been going on for many months and it is enough.

I was in such bad shape late this afternoon that my cat climbed into my arms and nestled there purring loudly to soothe me. She knows all.

When we bought the cemetery plots, my colostomy bag filled up twice on the road. I had brought supplies with me so that I could empty it and I did. I am very quick and clean. I am not so quick when it comes to changing out the bag which I have to do twice a week. It takes me about an hour and a half. I had to do it a few days ago and honestly nearly passed out because my stoma was in bad shape (I will not describe it) and I had to do my best to gently clean it. It’s a lot.

I also have to give myself a shot in the leg every day (five more days to go). I can’t tell you how much I hate doing it. But I do it.

I have started to pack up but it is very slow going. I get tired very easily and have to rest for several hours before starting again but I am making headway. My mom is helping too. It will get done eventually.

This is what is happening. I don’t know what else to say.

Love, Molly2923

2 thoughts on “July 4, 2020

  1. No way chemo would have started already. It’s usually at least 4-6 weeks after surgery before it starts. Chemo & healing don’t mix, so they like to make sure you’re far enough along in healing before they start chemo. Are you sticking with the oncologist you have, or are you going to look for a new one? Once you’ve got your oncologist figured out, call their office to see if they can get in touch with palliative care. Palliative Care is all about helping you deal with side effects and other issues while you have cancer. It is not hospice. Palliative care was great for me both during and after chemo. I highly recommend them. Yes, it is another set of people to deal with, but that’s really part of the deal with cancer.

    I promise you’ll get better at dealing with your ostomy as time goes on. When things are going well (as in, pre fistula) I could change my entire appliance in 15 minutes. Pre fistula, I was only changing my bag every 4-5 days. One tip to make changes easier once your intestines settle, eat a couple marshmallows about 30 minutes before you change it. For most people, the marshmallows slow things down long enough to change the bag. Are you using a one piece or a two piece?

    No matter what, I’m here. *Hugs*


    1. Your comment is really interesting. My mom and I have been saying that I need to recover from the surgery and get my colon working again before diving into chemo and getting sick from that. One doctor told me I should start chemo the day after my surgery (literally) and another said 3 weeks and then switched it to 2 weeks. No one explained why so fast. I am looking for a new doctor.

      I’m using a 2 piece.


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