Another rough day. I didn’t write yesterday because who wants to hear about bowel, bowel, bowel but the reality is that my life is now all about and only about the bowel. I am sick, sick, sick. All day long, I wait for my colostomy bag to fill up. When it fills up (typically within minutes), I am in severe pain/cramping. Then the pain/cramping subsides. Then I return to nausea and aches … it’s just a mess. If I didn’t have the bowel problem I would have already started my cancer treatment. I hardly sleep and am completely worn out. This has been going on for many months and it is enough.
I was in such bad shape late this afternoon that my cat climbed into my arms and nestled there purring loudly to soothe me. She knows all.
When we bought the cemetery plots, my colostomy bag filled up twice on the road. I had brought supplies with me so that I could empty it and I did. I am very quick and clean. I am not so quick when it comes to changing out the bag which I have to do twice a week. It takes me about an hour and a half. I had to do it a few days ago and honestly nearly passed out because my stoma was in bad shape (I will not describe it) and I had to do my best to gently clean it. It’s a lot.
I also have to give myself a shot in the leg every day (five more days to go). I can’t tell you how much I hate doing it. But I do it.
I have started to pack up but it is very slow going. I get tired very easily and have to rest for several hours before starting again but I am making headway. My mom is helping too. It will get done eventually.
This is what is happening. I don’t know what else to say.