I want to forget about this cancer. I am sick of it. If I didn’t have any pain, it would be easier to do – to forget about it – to let it go.
I want to let it go.
I want to enjoy my life, just be.
I believe I could do it if I didn’t feel so sick all the time.
Quality of life. I want it back.
One last thing that I have to say because it’s really bothering me. Remember I told my prior doctor last week that I was having extreme urinary pain and he did not address the complaint but my stoma nurse took the initiative and had the doctor order a urine test? Well, no one from my prior doctor’s office ever called me about the results. Similarly, when I was in the hospital, I complained of urinary pain, got several urine tests, and no one talked to me about the results or otherwise helped me in anyway. Well, I sent the hospital test results and the latest results to my new doctors and they confirmed that the tests are positive. It may be the stent. I was given antibiotics. I also learned that the doctor notes from my hospital stay say that no treatment was given because there were no symptoms!! The only reason I was given those tests was because I complained of pain. Disturbing, isn’t it? So wrong.
Scans and port placement tomorrow. Treatment begins on Monday. Then we will see …