October 25, 2020

Yesterday was very bad. Couldn’t get out of bed. Just incredibly sick all day. This medicine – irinotecan – causes diarrhea. I was told that it can get so bad with the loss of fluids and electrolytes that you have to call the hospital so, if it starts, you have to try to stop it ASAP with Immodium. Yesterday afternoon, it poured out of me into my colostomy pouch – filled up in literally seconds. It was scary. I took the Immodium and it worked. So far, no more problems.

Today, I feel lousy but am better. Am able to sit up and do a little work.

This drug irinotecan can cause confusion and I experienced it this morning. I had a cup of tea and wanted to throw out the tea bag. Instead, I poured the tea into the garbage and left the tea bag in the cup. That was scary too. It was a momentary thing though – I am clear-headed now.

My poor little body! It’s being a trooper. I owe it a big thank you. I know you’re not supposed to have a dichotomy between body and self – we are one – but I do see my body as kind of doing its own thing – taking care of business – and I’m doing everything I can to help it – giving it the right food, enough sleep, etc. We’re a team.

I’d like to add more flowers to my spring garden. Not sure how sun/part shade flowers will do in a mostly shady area though. May have to stick with the shade loving ones and just plant more of them. Also don’t want to buy lots of pots – no place to store them come winter – need to think about it. I don’t have a green thumb but I love being in the garden (haven’t had one for many years – life took a detour). Having fun with the online garden catalogues – like the charm of a cottage garden – rambling, scented flowers. Going to grow a few kinds of lettuce too – I love lettuce sandwiches.

Talk to you later.

Love, Molly

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