November 23, 2020

Good morning. It’s a little after 4:00 a.m. and right now I have vegetables roasting (squash and carrots) and a loaf of soda bread baking. Yesterday was the first day I felt 100% like myself. It took me 10 days to recover from the chemo and I head back in 48 hours on Wednesday. For the first time, I am dreading it.

Since I can’t have Thanksgiving this year (I’ll be too sick), I decided to make my dishes and eat them over a few days this week. So far, I’ve made my popovers, stuffing, string bean casserole (which was a disappointment – my Grandma made it better because she loaded it up), and whipped squash (I boiled it and it turned out too bland – that’s why I’m roasting some now – to bring out the natural sugars – I’ll whip it when it’s done).

I’m also working on a personal project and trying hard to finish it fast. You don’t know what time will bring. A year ago, I never, ever would have imagined my life would look like it does now. Years ago, when I was married, my ex-husband and I went to an open house. He chatted up the realtor. A year later, I called that realtor because I needed to put our house on the market due to the divorce. When he came by to see it, he muttered to himself, “so much changes in a year.” I heard him and I’ve thought about his words repeatedly over the years. It does. So, so much.

I was reading about cancer that has spread to the peritoneum which is the lining of the abdominal cavity. My tumor has attached itself to the peritoneum. My understanding is that in the 1990’s, the prognosis for cancer that had spread to the peritoneum was death in 3 months. Then, new chemo drugs were developed that prolonged life. In addition, a new surgical procedure was developed – the body cavity is opened (I’m very squeamish – this is hard to even write), the cancer is removed, and the peritoneum is bathed in chemo drugs. Apparently, it’s a very tough operation and recovery (assuming you survive) takes a long time. The surgeon also has to be specially trained to perform the operation.

Right now, my cancer is inoperable (which itself is very bad) but they are waiting to see if it becomes operable. If it does, is this the procedure that awaits me? Let’s not think about that!


So, I’m going to go check on my bread, have a cup of tea, and start working my project again.

Talk to you later!


Love, Molly

P.S. My hair is thinning from the chemo so I decided it needed to be cut to remove some weight (I have medium length hair). I won’t go to a beauty parlor because of COVID so I bought special scissors from Amazon and read up on How To on the Internet (who are those models who can cut their own hair so perfectly?!!!). The first time, I put half of my hair over one shoulder and half over the other shoulder and then cut each half diagonally to create a blunt/straight cut. An uneven disaster. Then, about a month ago, I made two pigtails, swung each over a shoulder, and cut each a little bit. AWFUL! Created a sharp point in the back which I then had to cut off (very difficult to reach).

Yesterday, I tried again and I think I’ve got it now. I made a ponytail and then put a second band on the hair hanging down and slid it down to the end. Then, I brought the ponytail over one shoulder and snipped the ends. It came out even. You’re supposed to lift the ponytail straight up over your head and cut it from there but I can’t cut looking in the mirror because everything is backwards and you have to see what you’re doing because the scissors are VERY sharp.

So, I can now cut my own hair! YEAH!!!

One thought on “November 23, 2020

  1. I’m familiar with that surgery. I believe it’s known as HIPEC. I hope you’ve joined Colontown, as they have much more BP information on the procedure, and people who have been through it. I’m sorry chemo has been so rough on you. *hugs*


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