December 3, 2020

I have been sick in bed from the chemo for a solid week. Last night – for five hours – I had a very tough time with bowel issues – very sick. This colostomy is no joke – it’s not just about things coming out a different end – it’s a whole different ballgame. This is the first day that I feel better though I don’t have enough energy to actually leave the house – that would wipe me out.

But I do feel better! In fact, I feel kind of euphoric that I feel better. I want to do everything – whatever that might be – NOW. I never made my pecan pie for Thanksgiving – maybe I’ll make it today! I have the vanilla ice cream … I made cinnamon rolls earlier – I can’t get them to rise fluffy – mine are dense – but I love them anyway. I fill them with brown sugar, cinnamon and raisins.

The trees are bare now. My window is my world – I am grateful for nature just beyond the pane. It makes me happy.

What else? My birthday is coming up and it falls on the same day of the week that I was born. It feels important, maybe a little ominous. I pay attention to signs. Maybe this signals the start of a new (but final) era – maybe a good one? Maybe it signals the end of something – not my life but something. I suppose that’s the same thing – the start point or end point – it’s just how you look at it – where you place your emphasis. My life has tended to go in 10 year cycles/periods that mark major breaks/changes. We shall see …

I’m tired now – going to rest. Sweet Pea is already snoozing.

Have a wonderful day,

Love, Molly

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