December 4, 2020

I just got out of the shower and more of my hair is coming out. It’s not supposed to fall out on this drug – it’s just supposed to thin out – which it has been doing. When does thinning become falling? It’s scary to watch it come out. But it’s just hair, it’s just hair.

If I were beautiful, I could pull off being bald. I remember the first time I saw a bald woman. I was in college walking down the street. A woman my age (but from a different stratosphere) walked towards me in a long, black cape with a hood hanging loose in the back. She was bald and beautiful with a tiny diamond in her nose. I, however, need hair to look good.

It’s not time for a wig – and maybe it will never be – but I think I have to get one that has brown hair in case I need it. The one I bought is lilac – very pretty but not so practical.

I have never had a problem with getting older. Until now, I embraced it. I always kept fit and prized health/strength and self-acceptance. I used less and less makeup over time because makeup can be very aging – less really is more – I saw that on my first video chat ten years ago after which I permanently ditched my deep, silvery eye shadow for a neutral – and, while I like and use makeup in a way that feels right for me, I insist on feeling good about myself without it too.

Why am I talking about this (and who really cares???!!!)? Well, the one thing that has started to bother me is hair. I now notice thick, glossy hair and hairlines that do not recede. Nothing I can do about it – if you can’t have one thing find happiness in another – maybe I should start wearing my lilac wig now!

I made pecan pie this morning – it’s cooling on the counter. Will taste soon.

Have a great day,

Love, Molly

P.S. Just tried the pecan pie – delicious. Used a shortbread crust for the first time – now my go-to crust – sweet, buttery, crunchy. I blind baked it. I have a tiny pie dish – 6″. I make mini pies.

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