February 6, 2021 – PPSS

Very tired. Went to the market. A real struggle. Turning the steering wheel of the car hurt. Everything hurt. Everything took a very long time to do – opening the car door, standing up, closing the door with my foot because, so far, it’s my upper body that’s affected.

This new side effect involving my joints has made me think about the possible tumor surgery. If they remove part of my colon, part of my rectum, my ovaries and uterus, part or all of my ureter and possibly some of my bladder, what will happen to my abdominal muscles? My pelvic floor? Will I be able to carry groceries? What about Sweet Pea’s litter? Will I be able to carry it upstairs?

By the way, Sweet Pea is curled up beside me right now snoozing …

There’s a lot I don’t say in this blog – things that are happening – things that compound the issues relating to this disease. I try to keep the blog focused on the day-to-day of dealing with the cancer but there is more. There’s life.

One step at a time – that’s what I tell myself.

When I was in my 20’s, I traveled to Thailand and took a bus to a town on the border of Burma. I was afraid because I was alone and I had heard en route that the area was in turmoil. So I said to myself “Everything is OK now. You are safe now.” Everything continued to be OK and I returned safely home.

Everything is OK right now too. But I am planning ahead. Every time you can nudge the needle in the right direction, the better off you are. It takes a lot of effort and patience and perseverance but, if you don’t make the effort, then where are you? Completely subject to the vagaries of timing, luck and chance. Now that’s scary.

Gather your nuts while you can.

Three posts in one day is quite an earful. Signing off now.

Love, Molly

Sweet Pea sends kisses too. XOX

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