March 24, 2021

I am a gigantic stink bomb.

I don’t know why but my stoma pouch STINKS and it’s not supposed to. I change it and I still stink!!! SMELLY!!!

So this week something not good happened – the details aren’t important – but what’s important is that sometimes one thing can happen – something entirely unexpected – and it changes everything – it changes your mindset. You can think one way – and make plans – and then it’s all upended. Change.

It has been exhausting but clarity is a relief. It’s good to know – best to know – exactly where you are – both literally and metaphorically.

I had a tiny sip of red wine tonight and ate part of a baguette. I haven’t had any wine for over a year (I only like red wine) because of the cancer. It reminded me of lazy dinners over pasta or eating hearty, cheesy sandwiches at some little cafe. Good times.

I bought the wine because I plan to make pasta Bolognese but tonight I just made a taco – very good. I got a free packet of taco seasoning and decided to try it out – bought taco shells to match – it was excellent.

I got vaccinated for COVID. I was nervous about it because the vaccine hasn’t been tested on immunocompromised people but I knew it had to be done. The long-term effects of COVID can be very serious – assuming it doesn’t kill you upfront.

I have quarantined since last March and – honestly – I like it. I find it peaceful and liberating. Regardless, I am not enduring chemo just to be felled by COVID. I am fighting to stay strong and alive so, when I go out, I double-mask it and will continue to do so even after I’m fully vaccinated because of the new strains out there. I intend to stick around so when people approach without a mask, I run the other way. If cancer hasn’t killed me, I’m sure not going to let them! Plus it’s my civic duty not to expose others. We are all in this together and must protect one another.

I gave myself until the end of the month to finish my Marie Kondoing. I am right on track. Heading into computer and hard drive physical destruction (everything has been destroyed electronically – used Erasure for individual docs and Vera for the drives).

What else??? Hmmm … I’m watching a new mini series on Amazon – very dark but not in a good way like Ozarks on Netflix – just dark, creepy but it’s set in Louisiana which is always fun with shots of the bayou and the spirit world hovering.

Getting late, getting sleepy. Time to say goodnight!

Love, Molly

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