I’m scared. I’m really, really scared. I go in for the new drug Tuesday afternoon. I am really worried that it will damage my heart. I really don’t want to lose any other part of my body. And I think a good, strong heart will help fight the cancer. My first oncologist (in my prior state) was going to start me on the Herceptin so I suppose I should be thankful I got to wait a year. It has been a year. This time last year I was in terrible pain, losing weight and had no idea why. I hadn’t even spoken to a doctor yet. I was too afraid to see a doctor/go to the ER/hospital because of COVID. I pushed myself to take a walk because I had trouble climbing the stairs in my apartment and thought I must be out of shape. I could barely make it down the block, breathe. Turns out, I had anemia/very low red blood cell count. I had no idea what was happening.
The sun has not risen yet. Still dark outside. Just had some toast and tea. Need to get working. Talk to you later.