April 2, 2021

I’m scared. I’m really, really scared. I go in for the new drug Tuesday afternoon. I am really worried that it will damage my heart. I really don’t want to lose any other part of my body. And I think a good, strong heart will help fight the cancer. My first oncologist (in my prior state) was going to start me on the Herceptin so I suppose I should be thankful I got to wait a year. It has been a year. This time last year I was in terrible pain, losing weight and had no idea why. I hadn’t even spoken to a doctor yet. I was too afraid to see a doctor/go to the ER/hospital because of COVID. I pushed myself to take a walk because I had trouble climbing the stairs in my apartment and thought I must be out of shape. I could barely make it down the block, breathe. Turns out, I had anemia/very low red blood cell count. I had no idea what was happening.

The sun has not risen yet. Still dark outside. Just had some toast and tea. Need to get working. Talk to you later.

Love, Molly

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